I was taught at a very young age that being a good listener is just one of the keys to success.

As an Eagle Scout, I learned that part of having a good rapport with someone is being able to have a TWO-way conversation with them. The importance of your words is complimented by the focus that you give to what the other person is saying.

As a freshman in college, I learned from my chancellor, along with other campus leaders, that I could strengthen my relationships with people by returning the conversation — by keeping the ball in the other person’s court.

When you’re having a conversation with another person, take a few moments to be observant.  I try to do it as often as I can. Today, we live in a world where our attention and focus is torn in multiple directions simultaneously. We get caught up easily and forget to notice the little things that truly matter. Conversation is one.  Everybody is talking and, more often than not, they don’t give the ball back to their conversation partner. The next time you give someone the ball, see how long it takes for you to get the ball back.

What do I mean by all this?

Here’s a work example:  You ask me what the price is of a home you saw as you drove back from the store.  I tell you every feature and detail of the home BUT the price.  My response should have been that the home is a brand new listing and the price is $365,000. I follow that up with, “Is this the price range/ point you had in mind?”  I have to remember that you didn’t ask me if the master bedroom was upstairs or downstairs, or what the school systems were like, or if there is a formal dining room. You didn’t ask me those questions, so that is not the information that I should be touting. Remember, good rapport comes from good listening.

A social example:  I ask how your daughter is and you keep the ball for the next 5 minutes, instead of saying she is doing great. In fact, she really loves her new teacher.  HOW ARE YOUR CHILDREN?  The quicker you return the ball to the other person great things can happen.  If you want to be a success, if you want to expand your network, if you want to communicate better at home with family…Remember…. return the ball to the other person’s court.

Good conversation and good listening are paramount in building good relationships. It will deliver success and happiness in so many ways!

By Pat Riley